I am Enough

What Heartbreak Has Taught Me About Love and Life

Hey There You All!

I'm here to tell you a story that changed the way how I looked at myself. I met a guy when I was in my freshman year of college, he happened to be my college friend's childhood friend who approached me. We started talking and gradually, I found him cute and handsome. We had endless conversations for a month and eventually, started dating. It was kind of a flex in college to show everyone how handsome my boyfriend was, but only I knew what the reality was. The initial months of the relationship were crazy sweet, he'd call me at random moments just to say I love you and what not. But I never saw him putting any effort to meet me; I had to travel for 2 hours to go see him for 1 hour every time we planned to meet. With passing time, he started pointing out things like how he felt I was too chubby or how my arms were tanned or how I wasn't pretty enough or how imperfect my smile was. He made me feel so insecure about myself and criticised every little detail which resulted in me losing my confidence. Our relationship went downhill after one and a half years, but I was still willing to give it a try and put my heart and soul into it.

Some months later, I wasn't able to sleep one night, so I called him around 12:30 at night, because he used to be up till late most of the time, but that day, my call didn't get connected, as if I was blocked. I was shocked. That year, Jio launched, and luckily, I got a new working number by which I called him, and guess what? He didn't even recognise my voice. I could hear some girls in the background and I was heartbroken. I kept texting him on WhatsApp because he wouldn't pick my calls just so I could have some answers to all the doubts I had in my head. At 3:30 in the morning, I suddenly got a reply on WhatsApp by him asking me, "Are you his girlfriend?" I said yes, and said we had been together for 2.5 years, to which she replied, "He's been with me for four months as well", and I couldn't believe it. She sent me a picture of both of them together and my world just flipped. I kept crying, and after all the chaos, I still met him twice with our common friends, who knew everything that had happened. But he just blamed it all on me, like I was not good enough for him. He even drove 2.5 hours to drop me back home, hugged me and said sorry and to take care of myself and get some sleep. But the next day, when I woke up, I was blocked from everywhere, no goodbyes, nothing. I was just abandoned like I didn't matter. I never tried to contact him ever again. We stopped talking on 18-03-2017. It made me so anxious and depressed, I was no longer the girl I used to be. Something inside me just died. I stopped trusting people and everything they said and did. But eventually, I picked myself up I started working out, lost weight. Got braces and had my teeth fixed and also my complexion improving because I stopped going out as much. I was just a different person altogether and then one day, I get a message on Instagram saying "I'm sorry, I wish I could take it all back but I can't and I know it's too late to say sorry but I hope you have it yourself to forgive me". I just laughed at it for minutes because the date was 18-03-2018, exactly one year later I forgave him but I didn't take him back. I am not a person to hold grudges against people but I won't let them walk over me all again. Months later, he asked me to marry him! Yeah, like actually marry him. He said "I never realised what I was losing until I was with someone who wasn't you, she wasn't you". I turned him down but it gave me satisfaction and I felt content in my heart. Since 2017, I have stayed single for 3 years, I didn't talk to a lot of people, just worked on myself and my mental peace until I found a guy so unexpectedly and guess what? I was head over heels in love with him. He treated me with utmost respect and dignity, I was truly loved and taken care of. Everything I wanted in a person was right there in front of me. So moral of the story? You kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Don't let those frogs hurt you because you will find your prince. I am also glad that I faced that heartbreak because it made me realise what I don't need in my man. Real love won't betray you and will love you for as you are. You won't be asked to change or feel ashamed about yourself. Just don't stop believing in love, because you met the wrong person. The right one will love you from your head to toes and inside out without changing a thing in you. 

 Don't ever change yourself for someone else, be a confident version of yourself for yourself and the world will change for you.